you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
