i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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