ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
