Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
