My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
