you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
