I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
a search helicopter?!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
