I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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