I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think my vagina is haunted
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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