they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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