Kiss
Puke
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
