im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
