3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
