i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
