i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so explain again why im purple
no
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
