Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
