I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
