No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
