And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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