so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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