farters have to be the big spoon...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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