Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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