Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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