Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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