Tell her she can't have a vagina
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
