i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
