When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
