that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I want to be your penis for a week.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
