By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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