D3 body, D1 cock
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
