Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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