never play flip cup with pint glasses
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
