She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
