his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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