Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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