I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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