i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
