Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
