We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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