I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
