One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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