I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
