the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
