i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
