that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i think i scared a bird with my dick
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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