You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
