Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Randomize
