dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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