yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
