Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
