Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
