Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
