she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
