All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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